You want to know about dwarves? You are an idiot. Nobody really wants to know the truth. They’re all sorry afterward. Fine, stop pestering me. This is going to make you glad you’re a halfling.

The ‘gonads’ of a male dwarf detach from him when he reaches sexual maturity. They are referred to as (Dwarven) Stones, and a dwarf usually has two, sometimes three or four. He carries his stones in a small sack and ‘gifts’ them to his bride when he is married. He may get them back if he outlives his bride, but it’s unlikely, and without that gift, he isn’t getting married again. Single dwarves may gift their Stones to family or a marriage prospect before going off to fight in a war, but if he lives, he’ll probably be single for life too. Though this gift is probably the only thing that has saved the dwarven race, there’s no gratitude for it.

Dwarven Stones are the most valuable ‘gem’ in dwarven society. They have no shelf-life, so families hoard extra stones and make secret deals with them. New colonies, if approved, will be granted additional Stones to help them grow fast and stabilize. There are no incestual consequences, so it doesn’t matter how closely related the parties are when using a Stone.

Dwarves don’t reproduce sexually. Instead, the female dwarf places a ‘Dwarven Stone’ in her vagina and pushes it up into her uterus; if she likes her mate, she may let him help. If it takes root, she becomes pregnant and has a dwarfling six months later. If she’s really lucky, the stone isn’t consumed and can be used again.

Dwarven society is actually matriarchal, wholly controlled from behind the scenes by females, who are too important and busy to go adventuring – thus the distinct lack of female dwarves.

Knowing the above should explain some male dwarven behavior; males are sexually frustrated, politically undermined, and clinically depressed. Male society is designed around burying their feelings and hiding their inadequacies by overcompensating with skills and alcohol. I’m a dwarf, and I can pound adamantium into submission! I’m a dwarf, and I can drink any other race under the table! Blah, Blah, Blah – It’s all noise to hide the pain.

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